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Stone Mountain, Wish I had more than lunch. sexy guy at Seattle mall nsa. Bitch looking hot sex What if..? m4w
I find that at this point in my life there are so many What If's. I have been seperated and divorced for over a year and 1/2 now and am contimplating how life just may end up for me in the future. A few years back, I had everything I could have ever wanted, and lost it all due to depression. I never gave up, but was abondoned, and left to my own demise. I lost it all. Marriage, Family Friends, Residence, Job, Vehicle and my Mind. I have since gained back Residence, a Vehicle and my Mind (I'd like to think). I dove into Drugs and Alcohol for a short while when I realized I was going the wrong direction and would certainly end up in jail or death. Thankfully, I chose to live life instead of being numb. Although the direction I have choosen seems to be the right choice, I still feel like I dont fit in with society at large. I have tried a small bit of therepy and am currently in a chemical dependance fellowship, but I feel these programs just don't provide the answers or the tools that I seek to move on to a better life. The feeling of shame and failure has brought me to the brink of total isolation and I have come to the point that I feel I may explode without some sort of human interaction. Sure, if I had any amount of $$ to go do something, dinner and drinks, a movie, bowling, even to visit someone, that would be a start. Yes, there are many free things to do, but I cant seem to find steady work enough for me to even be able to afford gas to go to and from. I know that the future holds something for me, everything happens for a reason. I just can't seem to picture what that might be and how to attain this goal. Affection plays a huge part of what I am missing. How I long for someone to hold dear to my heart again, and to feel wanted and needed by another. Right now, that's my cat, whom I am so grateful to have right now. I do have a child that I see every so often, and am grateful for that as well. But having their life turned upside down after being blind sided by this whole thing, it's just not the same as when we were a family, and they felt the love from mom and dad together. Our bond is great and I do not worry about the relationship we will have in the future. It is my well being that concerns me. I am trying, to a point that is affordable, but find the more I try, the more I feel unworthy becuase I can not do more. I know this is Strictly Platonic and is why I am posting here. Let's take dating for example. All people, would say, to the poor soul, that any person would love to be honored and cherished even if all they had to offer was their heart. But look at all the dating sites, not that I have tried. Unless someone has stability in the form of $$ to offer, the other person is screwed. Not saying I blame them. But what state of mind has that poor soul been forced into, that has a heart, is trying to live life, but just can't seem to catch the break they deserve to gain the stabilty that is required by others. Shame, Embarresment and Failure sets in, and the ability to function in society has been lost. I have just never felt so alone in my entire life before and I guess this is my way of getting it out there in the open and off my back. My bet, is that there are a ton of people out there like myself, that have expeirienced, or are going through somewhat the same situation as I am. Where exactly am I going with this. Hell, I don't even know anymore. Actually, I don't even care if any one replies, although you are more than welcome to. Not looking for answers or advise, but maybe just another human single women wants real sex Perth Western Australia being to interact with. No pics, no names or info, nothing to be judged by. (As you can tell by the way I have written this, no one can tell if I am young or old, male or female, black or white...just Human)(Posting this in m4w 1st to get Womens point of view) |